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ISSN 1409-6900 | UDK 82+7     Blesok no. 20 | volume IV | April-May, 2001



                     Peer-reviewed journal
Blesok no. 20April-May, 2001

Who Turned On the Dark?

p. 1
Željko Ivanković

    Our word for «fable». Not to be confused with Bosna, our word for «Bosnia». In a basna animals take on human attributes; in Bosna vice versa.

    An unexpected appearance. Authentic, vital, sturdy, generally liked. Anonymous for a long time, looking for his place in the world. And then he took it without taking anything from the others. He made me used to the idea that I had sons, and to answer to the question «how's your son?» with «which one?» He changed my life. He changed our life. He interfered in Roman's heritage. Heritage? Will it be possible to talk about such a thing after the war? Anyway, he made easier the loss of Predrag, my mother, the loss of Vareš…

    This is what your mother gives birth to and you leave behind when, being the eldest, you go into the world. It is what has the same blood as you, the same father and the same mother, but you do not understand one another too well, because wandering over the world you have picked up other kinsmen, though not of the same blood. It is somebody that informs you about the death of your mother and you cannot understand because the radio message is so full of interference, noise so poor and so cold. And if you have another brother, then he is somebody you never hear since the war has incapacitated the already incapacitated, capable even more capable, although somewhat different. One is in the BH Army, the other in Croat Defence. One defended Vareš from the first one. The former is a vicorious liberator now, the latter is wounded and on the territory of the common enemy. I do not understand anything, and I am not sure if either of them understands. Thank God, mother is dead and does have to try to understand anything.

    The first, the last and the only grammatical and living person. No need to say the most important, or singular, because it has no plural. Only I has experienced the war, only I is hungry, only I has been killed, only I has been wounded, only I has suffered, only I has been freezing, only I loves and hates. Only I understands and yet nothing is clear to him. Only I is a hero and has the eyes of a terrified child. The war has helped that I understand that God is also – I.

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