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ISSN 1409-6900 | UDK 82+7     Blesok no. 22 | volume IV | August-September, 2001



                     Peer-reviewed journal
Blesok no. 22August-September, 2001

Twin Sisters

p. 1
Goce Smilevski

     to Julio Cortazar

    Darkness. Georgina:
    We lie calmly in this room, thousands of kilometers from Buenos Aires, we lie withdrawn into our own bodies, we lie next to the other, adorning each other in touches. We lie the same way, completely the same: twin sisters. An early childhood memory often passes through my head. Alexandra and myself standing in front of the mirror, and we are looking not at doubleness, but at quarterness, numberless combinations of reflection: I melt into the Alexandra next to me, I melt into the Alexandra in the mirror, I melt into my own reflection in the mirror. Looking at her face on the smooth surface, then for the first time (and we weren’t older than five) I felt the need for complete closeness to her. (Or was it maybe a need for complete closeness to myself?)
    Our mother would leave us to bathe in the tin basin, and I called her every Sunday morning to come as fast as possible so that my fingers could slide along her skin and hers along mine.
    At night, in the dark room--where the snoring of our grandmother, the occasional farts of our stepfather, and the mumbled prayers of our mother mixed up in her dreams--my lips searched for her lips, her fingers groped between my legs, searching for the pulse that throbbed like my heart under her touch.
    We lie restless in this room, thousand of kilometers from Buenos Aires, while her tongue, like the hands of a clock, encircles my right nipple, we lie carrying in ourselves the memories of the darkness of the room thousands of kilometers away, while the tongue of my sister goes lower and lower, the darkness of the night in which we saw our mother’s death, the tongue of my sister touches my belly button, licks it, while we feel the weight of the memory of the night when our stepfather tied us to our beds and for the first and last time showed us what the male body can do with a female, he showed us just several paces from our mother’s dead body, he hit my sister, and I felt the pain of the blows, he raped her, and I lost my virginity together with her, and the darkness of that room and everything that happened that night returns to me while my sister’s tongue goes down on me, licks my clitoris, and I

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